Its hard enough sharing a dorm room the size of a postage stamp with one person, but what happens when your roommate consistently invites friends and dates to hang out too? Even if you all get along, it can get old fast. Sometimes you just want a little privacy. At the very least, you dont want to feel like an outsider in your own room.

Whether youre dealing with your roommates ever present love interest, or his obnoxious friends who borrow your stuff, you need to speak up. Roommate issues like this dont go away by ignoring them, so its best to be upfront and work together to reach an understanding. Here are some tips that will help:

Keep an open mind. Its possible that your roommate has no idea theres a problem, so dont assume hes trying to annoy you on purpose.

Pick the right time to talk. Choose a time to speak to your roommate when the two of you can be alone. Explain that you have nothing against the other people involved, but you feel uncomfortable having them around all the time.

Be assertive. Stand up for your own rights while respecting the rights of your roommate. You cant control who your roommate spends time with or when, but you do have a say when it affects your time in the room.

Avoid accusations. Starting your sentences with, "you," sounds like an attack and will likely make your roommate defensive, as in: You are being selfish. Instead, own your message by starting with, "I," as in: "I'm unhappy with this situation.

Set reasonable expectations. If you leave the room every time your roommate has over a date or friend, he or she will assume nothing is wrong, and the problem will persist. Both sides need to compromise instead of one person making all the changes.

Make a schedule. Discuss times when both of you need space to study, sleep, or just be alone and agree to make those times off-limits to guests.

If you dont like conflict, you may be tempted to avoid it by gossiping to other friends or complaining to your Resident Assistant without ever talking to your roommate first. Going around the issue will only makes things worse! By approaching your roommate calmly and respectfully, the two of you can work out an agreement thats fair without things getting blown out of proportion.